Going Home

"Be careful because Cambodia is the most dangerous place you will ever visit. You will fall in love with it, and eventually it will break your heart." -Joseph Mussomeli, past U.S. Ambassador to Cambodia (Cambodia's Curse, 2010)

At the end of the day I still ask myself, "why do we travel?" Why do we torture ourselves with leaving our homes and all we know; why do we torture ourselves with falling in love with such gorgeous people - only to disappear and probably never see them again; why do we run away? From personal experience and from research through travel memoirs, etc., it's because we are constantly trying to learn more about ourselves (also, of course about the world as well!). And it's always the same - we leave expecting a revelation, may it be about whatever, but we always return asking ourselves why we left, because it's always been and always will be either right in front of us or within us. I guess I'll never learn, nor do I plan to.

I'm sad to leave. Even though it's been a struggle and a journey of extreme highs and lows, and no matter how much I miss my home, I am very sad to leave. Quite sad, confused, and moved.

I look back on my time here and it seems so short and I feel pathetic. At the same time however, I have received plenty of verification that my efforts have been effective and hugely appreciated. When I think about my time in Cambodia, why I came, why I stayed, it was really all for my students - something I didn't  know would happen. My fifteen students - young, old, quiet, loud. It's also been my director Emily, whose generosity (understatement of the century), has been the single force that has inspired me to teach. The other night was the Transform Cambodia staff dinner and party. While there, I was suddenly overwhelmed by this organization's inconceivable charity. There's so much love. Every staff member I met, all of the foreigners who support TC, and of course my students, have touched my heart. No not touched it, but skewered it with unimaginable kindness. Last week I toured the centers (as there were Christmas performances and parties) with some of the founders and sponsors and they all made an impression on me. After many tears shed by all, I didn't realize how much I missed them already. They love me.

I felt lonely here a lot. I sometimes felt useless. But most of all, I felt and feel blessed that I got to work within this organization. Mine has been an experience of ecstatic joy and curiosity to a string of real low points. I discovered limitations; mind-tweaking frustration; people's motives; people - from every background, foreground, and situation that you can imagine; cultural boundaries; and of course all the superficial stuff that I'm supposed to learn at this point. Most importantly and most notably what I have taken away from this experience is Transform's heart.

It's true what they say about how you don't really know a country until you live in it. It's true that it doesn't matter where you are but who you're with. And, as if this couldn't get any more soft or introspective - it's true, there's no place like home.

Final dinner with the family who lives below us at Master Suki Soup!

World AIDs Day

December 1st is World AIDs Day - "...AIDs takes your body but it doesn't take your mind, your feelings, your dreams, or your heart."

http://www.worldaidsday.org/

Toul Sleng Genocide Museum

I did not take these photos (found via internet), but they are of the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum, a place which I recently visited for the second time in my life. A very sad place. A survivor of the Khmer Rogue, a woman in her mid forties, was my tour guide.  

                                         

                                        

                                            

RiverKids

Yesterday I visited the RiverKids NGO. With four centers in different slum neighborhoods mostly located in the Toul Kork area or north of the city, this NGO schools poor and vulnerable children and also provides vocational training for young adults. These kids come from what you would call extremely "high risk" families and communities. Many are from families of illegal Vietnamese immigrants and thus some cannot even speak K'mai. They live directly in Phnom Penh's worst communities; they are surrounded by drug dealers and sex workers. Their mothers mainly earn money selling themselves. It was confusing and disheartening to realize this, and also become distanced from not only my growing optimism, but also some of the more progressive, energetic, and thriving Cambodia that I've been somewhat gated by. However it really is astonishing how much of a difference organizations like RiverKids make; not only in the kids' future but in the community as well. Because the children have transformed into beings with polite manners, more developed brains, and a purpose other than just collecting trash, they've inspired their parents to change too. RiverKids sees their children through, overall nourishing them with a healthier family life. 


Riverkids: "WE ARE A SINGAPORE-BASED CHARITABLE TRUST THAT FUNDS AND MANAGES FAMILY-CENTERED INTERVENTION AND SUPPORT PROJECTS IN PHNOM PENH'S URBAN SLUMS WITH HIGH-RISK CHILDREN." 


Visit: riverkidsproject.org

Living in Phnom Penh: GSC Volunteer Orientation

        Although quite westernized in many parts of the city, Phnom Penh still retains and respects traditional Cambodian culture. Highlighted below are certain aspects of the culture, societal norms, and the way of life here that may help a volunteer become more prepared for his or her experience in Phnom Penh. (Written for the GSC volunteer orientation packet)

Appropriate Dress

Even though the temperatures are often blindly hot or humid in Phnom Penh, the dress does not call for beach attire. It’s normal to wear pants or a skirt that covers the knees and a shirt that covers shoulders. Yes, you will see that even locals occasionally wear short shorts or skimpy dresses (for women), but maybe save these outfits for a night out. It’s best to try to fit in as much as possible, you’ll already be sticking out far enough. And of course, there’s unwanted attention to consider.
Working with Cambodians

Even the working situation is going to be different. From bureaucratic Cambodian-run organizations to foreigner-friendly ones, predicting your working experience may be impossible. One helpful tip is to be culturally aware at your workplace. This means be on time for work/meetings, during meals do make an effort to converse but know that Cambodians don’t usually talk too much while eating, greet people respectfully, pay attention to your appearance, and know that Cambodians are generally known as some of the nicest people anywhere, so return their generosity. If you do find yourself in more of a bureaucratic environment, try to be patient. Some NGOs have reported struggling in Cambodia because of their attempts to complete an agenda that otherwise never gets done. You will have to rely on yourself to get your work done and be persistent if you experience issues in the workplace.

Getting Around

The most convenient way to travel is by tuk-tuk or moto. Not only is it probably pretty dangerous to walk in Phnom Penh, but also it’s also not very normal. Of course, if you’d like to walk somewhere, hopefully a near-by location, it’s up to your discretion. Keep in mind however, that you will be consistently bombarded by motos or tuk-tuks offering rides. The locals usually do not walk anywhere. Though there is somewhat of a standard for the payment of tuk-tuks, some drivers will certainly inflate the prices for a foreigner, but not all are so greedy. So, try to keep your cool while negotiating – just be politely persistent. The most you’ll pay is $6 for a 20min trip to your destination and back, unless you keep the driver for a whole day or whole night, which can get pretty pricey – up to $12-$15. Short rides usually cost $1-$3.
Travel

Travel around Cambodia is typically pretty straightforward. If you’d like to explore other provinces, there are bus companies all around the city, one of the most popular being Sorya. It’s best to buy a bus ticket a day or a couple of days in advance. Booking hotels online has always worked for me and you can ask the hotel about how to get from the bus station in town to their property. Crossing the border is a whole different situation. I highly recommend doing your research before committing to a trip that involves a border crossing from Cambodia. Many border-crossing locations are, in my experience, corrupt or at the very least, confusing. If you plan on leaving the country during your stay in Cambodia, make sure you have a multiple entry visa or only extend your visa up until the day you leave for your trip because you’ll have to buy a new one upon re-entry back to Cambodia. You can extend your visa at a travel agency ($25 per month for a tourist visa).

Tourists

Tourists, or foreigners in general, have a peaceful relationship with Cambodians. It’s true that some are not fond of the late-night partying scene or bars, but really other than that, if you are polite than Cambodians really do appreciate your travel. They like tourists for the money it brings to their country and also because they know that tourists will go home and talk about their experience here. Locals have even told me that the dress tourists wear (usually inappropriate by Cambodian standards) is acceptable because, “it’s their culture.”

Eating/Food

Cambodian food is exotic and most of the time, very delicious. There is a huge variety of unusual and tropical fruits, which are a common snack and dessert. Dishes range mostly from soups to meat or seafood dishes with rice. One of the most typical meals is a soup with vegetables and some kind of meat (sometimes liver or other innards) eaten with rice. Here, only a spoon and fork or chopsticks are used to eat, no knife. There are abundant international and western restaurants as well. Mostly all restaurants are totally safe to eat at (you won’t have to worry about something like the ice), except maybe think twice about eating at a sketchy street vendor – not that you should cutout this option completely.

Health

As far as vaccines go, you may want to get the Cambodia specific ones (i.e. Japanese Encephalitis) when you arrive in Cambodia. First of all, the vaccines are significantly less expensive here. In addition to this, if you receive one JE vaccine in the US and plan on getting the other two or three while Cambodia, it’s often the case that the shots’ brands won’t be compatible and it is important to get them on the exact dates that the doctor recommends. Finally, the hospital here may have some vaccine recommendations that your doctor in the US did not consider. The Rabies vaccine, for example, is encouraged here. The most popular foreigner hospital is International SOS. It’s very well established and has English-speaking and also foreigner staff. You’re also likely concerned about stomach problems. Drink filtered or bottled water (brushing teeth with tap is fine) and be wary of some street food. You’re probably going to get some stomach bout here or there, but unless it is deathly painful, it will pass in a matter of days. Otherwise start on antibiotics or see a doctor.

Language

Definitely try to learn Khmer. You will be rewarded with more Cambodian friends, lower prices, and certainly more respect. Even though a lot of people speak English here, they really appreciate it when foreigners can speak some Khmer (“K’mai” in Cambodian). Learn the everyday phrases, like how to speak in a restaurant or when you’re negotiating prices in a market. Don’t worry too much if it’s difficult for you, usually only a few phrases will earn you respect and English is the second language here.

Everyday Life

One thing that you should know is that in Cambodian culture, it is not cool to lose yourself publicly. In general, Cambodians believe in “saving face,” which means not showing that you are very upset or angry. It’s also normal for Cambodians to kind of avoid confrontation. If there’s a problem, it might go ignored and if someone has a problem with you, you might go ignored (unlikely but good to know). For example, after I had accidentally paid for our bi-weekly water supply, our landlady told us that she had already paid too, thus paying double for the service. We thought, Oh we’ll just talk to the water people and tell them so we can get our money back. However the landlady insisted that we do not discuss this matter anymore and just forget about it.

People here are very patient and one of the most popular sayings I hear daily can be translated to, “it’s not a problem.” Cambodians, though tough and busy workers, are very willingly to do things for you and offer you food or a ride. They’re generosity is endless, so don’t be a fool taking advantage of it.

Public displays of affection are a big no-no, unless it’s friendly or with someone of the same sex (homo-sexual relationships are not really recognized). Even holding hands is an offence, so don’t think about trying anything else.

Cambodians have a prominent work ethic. They tend to wake up very early and work six days a week (Monday to Saturday).

Most importantly, don’t be afraid to try new things. One of these things is the snacks that are on display at food carts on every street. You should know that Cambodians are overall extremely nice people who want to help you, and they’re very curious about foreigners. Say “hello” to the “hello ambushes” you’ll be confronted with daily. Like many travel writers before me have written about Cambodia, if you’re having a bad day, just smile at anyone on the street because you are sure to receive a big, warm smile back.

Koh Chang, Thailand

Transform Cambodia

 Transform Cambodia is the Christian NGO that I volunteer for. Here is the opening statement on their website. You should visit it - http://www.transformcambodia.com/

"On any one day there are over 15,000 young children working or living on the streets of Cambodia, scraping a living from scavenging, begging or selling.  They have no education or hope for the future. Transform Cambodia gives them not just hope, but a guaranteed bright future.

At Transform we feed and educate them, and train them to become leaders of Cambodia's future.  We currently operate eleven Life Centres which transform the lives of 100 children each - all staffed by Khmer nationals, and are on target to add 500 children every year.  We are passionate about this country, and the opportunity we have to make such a huge difference. "

I don't actually work with the children though! I teach English to all of the cooks and housekeepers from all of the different centers. About 14 students ages 19-50.

(Children playing at the center I work at)

One of the Seven (Man-Made) Wonders of the World

 

 

 

 

An Article That Is Worth Your Time

If you've ever been interested in tourism or how it affects a developing country, or if you've ever been a tourist anywhere, you must read this article. A disgusting look into the reality of what some people come to Southeast Asia for. This kind of thing only builds up my resentment for Western influence. I meant it when I said, "Cambodians, take back your city!"

Please view the link below:

http://www.smh.com.au/travel/down-the-tube-20110727-1hzzc.html

& another link to view if you are interested in volunteering abroad, especially with orphanages.

http://www.thinkchildsafe.org/thinkbeforevisiting/

When It Rains, It Pours

       It's a total cliche, but it's true. I wouldn't even call it rain; I'd say torrential downpour. It's torrential downpouring right now as I write. The rain here isn't a silly drip that lingers for hours or comes and goes as it pleases, the rain in Southeast Asia during the rainy season happens once every other day and it it's always on time. It's not lazy; it bleeds from the sky like a deep, gushing and gashing wound, working hard to clean (or drown) this dirty city. About every other day around 4 o'clock to 4:30 in the afternoon, an alarmingly loud sound appears out of nowhere. I remember hearing the rain for the first time here. I was sleeping and suddenly my ears perked up to discover what sounded like the violent smashing of tin outside. Waking up in a panic, I asked, WHAT IS THAT? It was stupid, but the sound, eruption, and unexpectedness of it all caught me off guard. However now I know about the rain because the sky gives it away every time. A black eeriness shelters the heaven above, leaving the city dark and with a vibe that tells you something is going to happen. Luckily, I shoved the drying laundry under the balcony roof just in time.  Looking out now, I only see sheets of rain in the sky.
       Unfortunately I do no justice in describing the rain, so I'll let Edgar Drake, character from Daniel Mason's The Piano Tuner (set in Burma circa 1886), describe it in a much more imaginative way:
"Indeed, I have never seen anything like the rain here. The drizzle that we call rain in England is nothing compared to the pounding of a monsoon. At once, the sky opens and soaks everything, everyone runs for shelter, the footpaths turn to mud, to rivers, the trees shake, and water pours off leaves as if out of a jug, there is nothing dry....I could write for pages only about the rain, the way it falls, the different sizes of the drops and how they feel on your face, its taste and smell, and its sound. Indeed, I could write for pages only on its sound, on thatch, on leaves, on tin, on willow."

Laura's Visit

High Tea at Raffles Le Royal

Emily & Laura at Wat Phnom.

A Bundle of Contradictions

       This place remains to me a bundle of contradictions. Oddly enough, that is one of the few ways I can describe what I've observed in Cambodia thus far.

  The first example that comes to mind is the overwhelming bureaucracy woven into many businesses and most certainly ingrained in the Cambodian government. Contrast this to the general perceived notion that Cambodians are "lazy" (not my opinion but one shared by many!) and hardly get anything done. From what I hear about the work method at least in the province, it is not uncommon to have to shake an employee awake during work hours - meaning that this general notion is generally true. So we have bureaucratic freaks v.s. sleepy slackers. That being said, I believe that there is not one way to describe how Cambodians work because  the popular beliefs are incompatible.
       Next is the discrepancy between the rich and poor. Yes, flashing lights should be going off in your head because this is painstakingly obvious. In fact, according to the UN, the gap between rich and poor is among the greatest human rights challenges facing Cambodia. The gap is great, with the poorest 10% having only 3% of the income while the richest 10% have 35%. (Global Education) Hummers carrying an army size load of one passenger cruise next to motos escorting families of four and the family dog. Clean and brightly lit grocery stores comparable to ours in the US are situated not far from bustling markets, where the majority of K'mai buy their food. I once went to this huge grocery store with outstanding variety, but I was only one of maybe seven shoppers there. The statistic of the gap between the rich and poor shows that only few can afford to buy things off shelves in a pleasant setting. Beautiful, atmospheric, and expensive restaurants rival street stands selling fried ramen noodles. I often wonder what K'mai people even go to these restaurants. They are usually pretty empty or just have a few tables occupied by foreigners. However the rich K'mai do exist and they do go to the best cafes, restaurants, and stores; this I have witnessed. Overall, this discrepancy is by far the biggest contradiction. Hun Sen's immaculate and obscenely huge house complete with a helicopter landing pad overlooks the hundreds of struggling K'mai people who pass it everyday, probably either holding back their gag reflex or just indifferent to it all (as the Cambodian population is). The corrupt government has it all, but the country is still so poor.

  The final example that comes to mind now is just one of comparison, not contradiction, though you may find hints of inconsistency in it. One thing that kind of boils my brain here is the large ex-pat population. Try as I might, I can't find a statistic on the ex-pat population in Phnom Penh, but I do know it is big enough to get me thinking. It seems that of the numerous neighborhoods in Phnom Penh, I would say that two are entirely made up of foreigners. Some come to follow their dreams. Tons of international and Western restaurants are proof of this. Cambodia is relatively inexpensive and there's a lot of opportunity. Some come for work. With a stressed job market at home, many come here for high-up positions in companies they couldn't imagine being apart of at home. There's a need here. Others, more arguably, come for what seems like just plain old fun. I met an older Australian gentleman last week who's made a life here for 14 years. He has a wife, daughter, and easy part-time job, and he's just hanging out. He maintains an active nightlife with people years younger than him and uses the city as an excuse to do whatever he wants. No judgement here on my part, but what I'm trying to say is, Cambodians, take back your city!! Make it yours and be the most successful people in it! I would say that there are uncountable efforts to integrate the K'mai people in their own city and businesses, but I would feel like I'm lying if I didn't admit that it seems like Western influence has hit this city hard.

  I wouldn't say that the city is teeming with foreigners and is boiling over the edge with them, but the number of NGOs here is out of control. Many NGOs are trying to do the same thing as their counterparts or opponents, but waste time and energy because they all of their missions overlap. Their image is also contradiction; NGOs are seen as being more detrimental to Cambodia's development while also being praised for their hard work and progress. 
       These contradictions, or call them what you will, are not simple to dissect. I'm still figuring everything out here, and it's easy to overcomplicate ideas. I would like to perhaps revise my previous statements in saying that though everything may not appear to be a total contradiction, Cambodia is a land of extremes. On one end, I'd like to say that there are endless problems with seemingly no solutions and a system that is too confusing to break. On the other, I'd like to say that everything is developing here, slowly but surely, and I remain pleasantly optimistic.

Holiday in Kampot & Kep (Southern Coast)

On the Bokor Mountain and waterfall tour...

Bike ride through the province

Having our own K'mai family picnic by the ocean.

The famous and finger-licking good Kampot pepper crab. We went to the same restaurant as Anthony Bourdain. 

The river in in Kampot, a province and town on the southern coast.

Notes I've Gathered From Observations & Incidents in Cambodia

-"Hello Ambushes," a pharse coined by foreigners describing the frequent and sudden exclaimation of "HELLO," occur whenever a barang, or foreigner is seen.

-White skin is taken seriously here. I feel like "the white man" coming to an ancient civilization via extensive exploration of the world on the Mayflower. Okay, an exaggeration, but really, white skin is coveted. It's nearly impossible to find a lotion or body soap that doesn't include whitening ingredients. Also, children will caress my arm and say, "same same monkey!"

-Men pee everywhere - that is not an exaggeration, and I am talking about the streets and sidewalks of a big city! In broad daylight! One time I witnessed a child (over 5yrs.) pooping in a plastic bag on the side of the street. People surrounded him, but he had a radius of clear space around him. His mother just plopped him right over the bag! 

-It's low season for tourism. That means a very limited number of foreigners. Phnom Penh does have a huge ex-pat population though. I'd say that actually about 2-3 neighborhoods here are dominated by ex-pats. However, we live about 15-20min away from any of the fun or exciting restaurants, stores, etc. that are in any of those neighborhoods. Apparently our neighborhood, Boeng SaLang, is straight K'mai.

-Foreigners are honored here, whether they're invited into a home, to a meal, or to a wedding! I got Emily, Brain, and myself invited to a wedding reception of one of my co-workers whom I hadn't even met yet! 

-K'mai delicacies are not exactly what Westerners would consider to be delicacies. Spiders, grasshoppers, liver, frogs, snake, insects of all kinds, and my favorite, unborn or fetus duck egg. As gross as it is, a few of these delicacies actually portray some of Cambodia's recent tragedy. Food telling history. During the Khmer Rogue, most of the population who survived were forced into the countryside and jungles of Cambodia. There, they had to fend for themselves in terms of food; that meant literally anything edible. 

-The city/province deal of Cambodia is unlike any other country I've visited. So the "province" basically means the countryside, or anywhere except Phnom Penh. Cambodia is made up of many provinces, much like states, that are all pretty rural and situated entirely in nature. Essentially, the entire population is from these provinces and some have moved to Phnom Penh, making up the population of the city. Of course, some have been born and raised here, but for the most part everyone was born and has family outside the city. During the most recent holiday, PP was empty because everyone had gone home.

-Rice. Everyday, every meal, rice.

-Karaoke is everyone's favorite pass time or nighttime entertainment here. Especially the men.

-The average Cambodian's day is broken at 11AM when nap/lunchtime occurs and then commences again around 1PM or 2PM. I will say that they do wake up very early, beginning their day around 5AM or 6AM.

-The current ruling party of Cambodia, and the ruling party for about 30 years now, is the Cambodian People's Party. CPP signs are posted everywhere - on every corner of the city, and every few kilometers in the provinces.  You'd think with all that money alloted to posting huge signs everywhere that the government would have enough money to bring their people over the poverty line. Also, every government worker or official and their family members own Lexuses or other expensive, imported cars. As if that isn't enough, many put the logo of the vehicle in huge print on the side of the car. So as you're watching a tough, high-level government official driving around in the most soccer-mom transportation on this planet, you wonder if he really thinks he's cool with a big "RANGE ROVER" on the side of his car....lame.

-The rich/poor gap is out of control. I could go into further details but I'll save it for another post.

-For young adult men and boys alike, the metro style is favored amongst them. They have a lot of influence from Korean pop culture, but still, it's not exactly the most attractive look for any young man. Flamboyant haircuts, colorful and very tight clothing, and they're always topped off with a unique cap. 

-& finally, being harassed by tuk tuk drivers everywhere. The ones on our street have stopped bothering me once they realized that I just walk to and from work everyday. But I swear if I hear, "TUK TUK. LADY TUK TUK. TUK TUK LADY," one more time....

Emily in her dream tuk tuk.

Cleaning up the flooded kitchen. Brain didn't put the tube the dispenses the water from the washing machine in the bathroom.

Emily & Brian's bungalow at "Mushroom Point" in Sihanoukville.

the smells of phnom penh

Sometimes it's impossible to breath in Phnom Penh. A combination of toxic fumes emitted from motos, big trucks, and cars as well was the never-ending large heaps of trash, which build up in every imaginable space of land, together could cause a black lung. Not to mention the litter-infested rivers, stained an opaque gray or unnatural green-blue. They reek of sulfur - a scent that repulses human beings. What surprises me, actually, is the fact that some here are not even repulsed by this naturally repulsing smell. The pungent neighborhood river fumes seem to not affect Phnom Penh locals. Of course, they are used to their opaque gray, completely trashed rivers, and voluntarily hang out by them - a place where I must hold my breath by. The Tonle Sap River is undoubtedly free of any pervasive odor, but it's the small bodies of water that run through the neighborhoods, surrounded by concrete and bustling traffic, that are most affected by plastic bags and poop.

Other notable scents are of gasoline, incense, dried fish, tandoori frog, and toxic chemicals that I don't know the names of. Most importantly however, are the dust and humidity, two things most people would not consider "smells." There are though, two things that do fly up into one's nose so often that they almost are scents. Dust and humidity are two factors essential to Phnom Penh life. I'm taking a deep breath of both now.

this week & last

elephant in riverside

Visit to Wat Opot

Digs & pics from today

Alright! Happy birthday to Emily and Daniel. Today was a tiring day, but I've finally got some pictures. Here are some of the apartment, although there is only one of downstairs and you can't see what it looks like (2 bedroom, 3 bathroom, small kitchen area, large misc. area w/ opening to deck). Enjoy!