Going Home

"Be careful because Cambodia is the most dangerous place you will ever visit. You will fall in love with it, and eventually it will break your heart." -Joseph Mussomeli, past U.S. Ambassador to Cambodia (Cambodia's Curse, 2010)

At the end of the day I still ask myself, "why do we travel?" Why do we torture ourselves with leaving our homes and all we know; why do we torture ourselves with falling in love with such gorgeous people - only to disappear and probably never see them again; why do we run away? From personal experience and from research through travel memoirs, etc., it's because we are constantly trying to learn more about ourselves (also, of course about the world as well!). And it's always the same - we leave expecting a revelation, may it be about whatever, but we always return asking ourselves why we left, because it's always been and always will be either right in front of us or within us. I guess I'll never learn, nor do I plan to.

I'm sad to leave. Even though it's been a struggle and a journey of extreme highs and lows, and no matter how much I miss my home, I am very sad to leave. Quite sad, confused, and moved.

I look back on my time here and it seems so short and I feel pathetic. At the same time however, I have received plenty of verification that my efforts have been effective and hugely appreciated. When I think about my time in Cambodia, why I came, why I stayed, it was really all for my students - something I didn't  know would happen. My fifteen students - young, old, quiet, loud. It's also been my director Emily, whose generosity (understatement of the century), has been the single force that has inspired me to teach. The other night was the Transform Cambodia staff dinner and party. While there, I was suddenly overwhelmed by this organization's inconceivable charity. There's so much love. Every staff member I met, all of the foreigners who support TC, and of course my students, have touched my heart. No not touched it, but skewered it with unimaginable kindness. Last week I toured the centers (as there were Christmas performances and parties) with some of the founders and sponsors and they all made an impression on me. After many tears shed by all, I didn't realize how much I missed them already. They love me.

I felt lonely here a lot. I sometimes felt useless. But most of all, I felt and feel blessed that I got to work within this organization. Mine has been an experience of ecstatic joy and curiosity to a string of real low points. I discovered limitations; mind-tweaking frustration; people's motives; people - from every background, foreground, and situation that you can imagine; cultural boundaries; and of course all the superficial stuff that I'm supposed to learn at this point. Most importantly and most notably what I have taken away from this experience is Transform's heart.

It's true what they say about how you don't really know a country until you live in it. It's true that it doesn't matter where you are but who you're with. And, as if this couldn't get any more soft or introspective - it's true, there's no place like home.

Final dinner with the family who lives below us at Master Suki Soup!

World AIDs Day

December 1st is World AIDs Day - "...AIDs takes your body but it doesn't take your mind, your feelings, your dreams, or your heart."

http://www.worldaidsday.org/

Toul Sleng Genocide Museum

I did not take these photos (found via internet), but they are of the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum, a place which I recently visited for the second time in my life. A very sad place. A survivor of the Khmer Rogue, a woman in her mid forties, was my tour guide.  

                                         

                                        

                                            

RiverKids

Yesterday I visited the RiverKids NGO. With four centers in different slum neighborhoods mostly located in the Toul Kork area or north of the city, this NGO schools poor and vulnerable children and also provides vocational training for young adults. These kids come from what you would call extremely "high risk" families and communities. Many are from families of illegal Vietnamese immigrants and thus some cannot even speak K'mai. They live directly in Phnom Penh's worst communities; they are surrounded by drug dealers and sex workers. Their mothers mainly earn money selling themselves. It was confusing and disheartening to realize this, and also become distanced from not only my growing optimism, but also some of the more progressive, energetic, and thriving Cambodia that I've been somewhat gated by. However it really is astonishing how much of a difference organizations like RiverKids make; not only in the kids' future but in the community as well. Because the children have transformed into beings with polite manners, more developed brains, and a purpose other than just collecting trash, they've inspired their parents to change too. RiverKids sees their children through, overall nourishing them with a healthier family life. 


Riverkids: "WE ARE A SINGAPORE-BASED CHARITABLE TRUST THAT FUNDS AND MANAGES FAMILY-CENTERED INTERVENTION AND SUPPORT PROJECTS IN PHNOM PENH'S URBAN SLUMS WITH HIGH-RISK CHILDREN." 


Visit: riverkidsproject.org

Living in Phnom Penh: GSC Volunteer Orientation

        Although quite westernized in many parts of the city, Phnom Penh still retains and respects traditional Cambodian culture. Highlighted below are certain aspects of the culture, societal norms, and the way of life here that may help a volunteer become more prepared for his or her experience in Phnom Penh. (Written for the GSC volunteer orientation packet)

Appropriate Dress

Even though the temperatures are often blindly hot or humid in Phnom Penh, the dress does not call for beach attire. It’s normal to wear pants or a skirt that covers the knees and a shirt that covers shoulders. Yes, you will see that even locals occasionally wear short shorts or skimpy dresses (for women), but maybe save these outfits for a night out. It’s best to try to fit in as much as possible, you’ll already be sticking out far enough. And of course, there’s unwanted attention to consider.
Working with Cambodians

Even the working situation is going to be different. From bureaucratic Cambodian-run organizations to foreigner-friendly ones, predicting your working experience may be impossible. One helpful tip is to be culturally aware at your workplace. This means be on time for work/meetings, during meals do make an effort to converse but know that Cambodians don’t usually talk too much while eating, greet people respectfully, pay attention to your appearance, and know that Cambodians are generally known as some of the nicest people anywhere, so return their generosity. If you do find yourself in more of a bureaucratic environment, try to be patient. Some NGOs have reported struggling in Cambodia because of their attempts to complete an agenda that otherwise never gets done. You will have to rely on yourself to get your work done and be persistent if you experience issues in the workplace.

Getting Around

The most convenient way to travel is by tuk-tuk or moto. Not only is it probably pretty dangerous to walk in Phnom Penh, but also it’s also not very normal. Of course, if you’d like to walk somewhere, hopefully a near-by location, it’s up to your discretion. Keep in mind however, that you will be consistently bombarded by motos or tuk-tuks offering rides. The locals usually do not walk anywhere. Though there is somewhat of a standard for the payment of tuk-tuks, some drivers will certainly inflate the prices for a foreigner, but not all are so greedy. So, try to keep your cool while negotiating – just be politely persistent. The most you’ll pay is $6 for a 20min trip to your destination and back, unless you keep the driver for a whole day or whole night, which can get pretty pricey – up to $12-$15. Short rides usually cost $1-$3.
Travel

Travel around Cambodia is typically pretty straightforward. If you’d like to explore other provinces, there are bus companies all around the city, one of the most popular being Sorya. It’s best to buy a bus ticket a day or a couple of days in advance. Booking hotels online has always worked for me and you can ask the hotel about how to get from the bus station in town to their property. Crossing the border is a whole different situation. I highly recommend doing your research before committing to a trip that involves a border crossing from Cambodia. Many border-crossing locations are, in my experience, corrupt or at the very least, confusing. If you plan on leaving the country during your stay in Cambodia, make sure you have a multiple entry visa or only extend your visa up until the day you leave for your trip because you’ll have to buy a new one upon re-entry back to Cambodia. You can extend your visa at a travel agency ($25 per month for a tourist visa).

Tourists

Tourists, or foreigners in general, have a peaceful relationship with Cambodians. It’s true that some are not fond of the late-night partying scene or bars, but really other than that, if you are polite than Cambodians really do appreciate your travel. They like tourists for the money it brings to their country and also because they know that tourists will go home and talk about their experience here. Locals have even told me that the dress tourists wear (usually inappropriate by Cambodian standards) is acceptable because, “it’s their culture.”

Eating/Food

Cambodian food is exotic and most of the time, very delicious. There is a huge variety of unusual and tropical fruits, which are a common snack and dessert. Dishes range mostly from soups to meat or seafood dishes with rice. One of the most typical meals is a soup with vegetables and some kind of meat (sometimes liver or other innards) eaten with rice. Here, only a spoon and fork or chopsticks are used to eat, no knife. There are abundant international and western restaurants as well. Mostly all restaurants are totally safe to eat at (you won’t have to worry about something like the ice), except maybe think twice about eating at a sketchy street vendor – not that you should cutout this option completely.

Health

As far as vaccines go, you may want to get the Cambodia specific ones (i.e. Japanese Encephalitis) when you arrive in Cambodia. First of all, the vaccines are significantly less expensive here. In addition to this, if you receive one JE vaccine in the US and plan on getting the other two or three while Cambodia, it’s often the case that the shots’ brands won’t be compatible and it is important to get them on the exact dates that the doctor recommends. Finally, the hospital here may have some vaccine recommendations that your doctor in the US did not consider. The Rabies vaccine, for example, is encouraged here. The most popular foreigner hospital is International SOS. It’s very well established and has English-speaking and also foreigner staff. You’re also likely concerned about stomach problems. Drink filtered or bottled water (brushing teeth with tap is fine) and be wary of some street food. You’re probably going to get some stomach bout here or there, but unless it is deathly painful, it will pass in a matter of days. Otherwise start on antibiotics or see a doctor.

Language

Definitely try to learn Khmer. You will be rewarded with more Cambodian friends, lower prices, and certainly more respect. Even though a lot of people speak English here, they really appreciate it when foreigners can speak some Khmer (“K’mai” in Cambodian). Learn the everyday phrases, like how to speak in a restaurant or when you’re negotiating prices in a market. Don’t worry too much if it’s difficult for you, usually only a few phrases will earn you respect and English is the second language here.

Everyday Life

One thing that you should know is that in Cambodian culture, it is not cool to lose yourself publicly. In general, Cambodians believe in “saving face,” which means not showing that you are very upset or angry. It’s also normal for Cambodians to kind of avoid confrontation. If there’s a problem, it might go ignored and if someone has a problem with you, you might go ignored (unlikely but good to know). For example, after I had accidentally paid for our bi-weekly water supply, our landlady told us that she had already paid too, thus paying double for the service. We thought, Oh we’ll just talk to the water people and tell them so we can get our money back. However the landlady insisted that we do not discuss this matter anymore and just forget about it.

People here are very patient and one of the most popular sayings I hear daily can be translated to, “it’s not a problem.” Cambodians, though tough and busy workers, are very willingly to do things for you and offer you food or a ride. They’re generosity is endless, so don’t be a fool taking advantage of it.

Public displays of affection are a big no-no, unless it’s friendly or with someone of the same sex (homo-sexual relationships are not really recognized). Even holding hands is an offence, so don’t think about trying anything else.

Cambodians have a prominent work ethic. They tend to wake up very early and work six days a week (Monday to Saturday).

Most importantly, don’t be afraid to try new things. One of these things is the snacks that are on display at food carts on every street. You should know that Cambodians are overall extremely nice people who want to help you, and they’re very curious about foreigners. Say “hello” to the “hello ambushes” you’ll be confronted with daily. Like many travel writers before me have written about Cambodia, if you’re having a bad day, just smile at anyone on the street because you are sure to receive a big, warm smile back.

Koh Chang, Thailand

Transform Cambodia

 Transform Cambodia is the Christian NGO that I volunteer for. Here is the opening statement on their website. You should visit it - http://www.transformcambodia.com/

"On any one day there are over 15,000 young children working or living on the streets of Cambodia, scraping a living from scavenging, begging or selling.  They have no education or hope for the future. Transform Cambodia gives them not just hope, but a guaranteed bright future.

At Transform we feed and educate them, and train them to become leaders of Cambodia's future.  We currently operate eleven Life Centres which transform the lives of 100 children each - all staffed by Khmer nationals, and are on target to add 500 children every year.  We are passionate about this country, and the opportunity we have to make such a huge difference. "

I don't actually work with the children though! I teach English to all of the cooks and housekeepers from all of the different centers. About 14 students ages 19-50.

(Children playing at the center I work at)